Please Stop Telling People Going Through Infertility To “Just Relax”








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I’m so glad articles like yours are hitting the internet. It’s long overdue that the general public be educated about how destructive comments like “just relax” are. They also need to hear that alleviating their own discomfort over a traumatic situation doesn’t solve the problem. Often it only makes the situation that much worse. My go to response when someone tells me to “relax” is to ask detailed questions about how that works for solving problems. Does relaxing solve world hunger? Do relaxing solve racism? Does relaxing cure medical conditions? Usually the answer is silence, followed by me pointing out… Read more »

Jane Allen
Jane Allen

They don’t get it and they’ll never leave it alone. My clueless friend Myrtle was telling me we should go to Hawaii post transfer. You know, because you can easily plan a vacation when you don’t know your exact transfer date until the week before and we have lots of cash on hand after dropping a few grand for this transfer. I used to shut people up with TMI “well actually, my husband has a low sperm count and I have a long follicular phase, we’re TOO relaxed”


I used to get asked alllllll the time when we were going to have kids. After about 10 years, people stopped asking. It shut them up pretty quick when I told them how long we’d been trying. People really have no concept of how much of a miracle it really is to get pregnant.