It’s time for a spring Day In The Life post! This one was a doozy. It was a rough day, but I suppose it’s good to get it all down, because hey, this is life, right?
You can read more Day in the Life posts by clicking here.
Day in the Life: Spring 2018
Friday, May 4th
Chris is 35, Risa is 32, Olivia is 2.5, and Toby is 9 years old.
6:44 am: Olivia comes into my room and we nurse. It’s actually one of the latest times she’s slept since she got her new bed and is out of the crib. Luckily, I slept pretty well last night too.
7:15 am: She says she has to “poopy in the potty” and slides off the bed. We head to the bathroom, I have to pee, but ignore it. I take her diaper off and see a smearing of poop. She sits on the toilet and we read a book called The Alphabet Parade but she doesn’t poop. She gets down, I swipe her, and we head to the living room where I put on her Minnie Mouse dress and black leggings. She spends some time twirling around and falling on the floor and I pet Toby for a bit on the floor, checking his tail and seeing it looks so much better. He got another tail infection, but this time we’ve made it a little three months since the last one and the high dose antibiotics are helping.
7:44 am: I see her pants are wet, something that surprises me, and tell her she needs to sit on the potty. She protests and fights me, but finally sits on her Minnie Mouse potty. I’m secretly annoyed because she still won’t tell us when she has to go.
8:00 am: She’s still sitting on there, so I wonder if she’s trying to poop. We’re watching some episodes of Shrek on Netflix, and I catch up on notes for this post. I still have yet to pee, but I can’t leave her on the little potty alone because who knows what horrors would happen.
8:12 am: Head to the kitchen after texting Chris, and get her some water and a cup of Kix. She stands up from the potty and says “I peed!” but there’s nothing in the little bowl. I get her new underwear and tell her that she needs to sit on the potty if she has to pee. I can’t wait any longer to pee, so I tell her I’m going to go and take a shower and use the bathroom.
8:15 am: Head to the bathroom and take a shower, quickly, because I don’t trust her out there alone. I’m toweling off when I hear her crying and running down the hallway. Either she’s puked or Toby is bugging her. Nope, it’s worse. She comes up to me with something on her hand and at first I think she threw up. I throw a towel over my head and we go out to the living room. There is runny shit all over the carpet. I pull off her underwear and try to hold my breath as I wipe her down. I put her on the potty, and run wet wipes up and down her legs and on her feet and try to clean her the best I can. I’m aware I’m still completely naked with a towel wrapped around my head. I tell her to stay seated on the potty and then I run to the bedroom so I can brush my hair out and get dressed in capris, but I want to get back out to the living room, so I throw on my bra and call it good for now. Then I wipe up the mess with paper towels while Olivia helpfully points out, “My poop!” and head downstairs to grab the carpet cleaner. I spray the area down and rub it in. Luckily she’s still sitting on the potty.
When I finally cleaned everything up and rinsed out her underwear down in the laundry sink, a chore that has to be the worst part of motherhood, I ask her if she’s done and she says”I pooped!” as she stands up. No, there’s nothing in the bowl. Fuck. I decide I’m done with underwear right now and throw a pull-up on her. I’m still smelling poop on her legs so I don’t have any choice but to give her a bath. Unfortunately, due to an incident in her ball pit yesterday when she was with Chris, there are about a hundred plastic balls sitting in the bathtub waiting to be cleaned. I curse Chris and debate giving up on this day altogether, as I grab the garbage bag and start putting the balls in it. I can only grab two or three at the most so it takes me awhile. “Son of a bitch.” I curse as slippery plastic balls keep flying out of my hands. I end up filling up the entire garbage bag and finally can fill up the tub for her bath.
9:00 am: She’s playing happily in the tub, so I sit on the toilet and catch up on my notes. I send off a text message to Chris about how my morning has been and then wash her up. I let her play a bit longer and then I take her out and dry her off, sticking her back in the pull-up. I had every intention of having her go to school in underwear, but because I know she still needs to poop, I’m not taking chances.
9:26 am: I make her peanut butter toast and cut up pineapple for breakfast and she sits down to eat while I make my own.
I butter two pieces of toast and grab some pineapple and sit down with her. She eats all of her toast, but leaves the pineapple and tells me she wants something that sounds like “tea.” I’m really confused, so I clean her up so she can go show me which of course makes her cry harder because she thinks she’s done eating. She runs over to the refrigerator and I realize she wants a cheese stick. I tell her that that’s not for breakfast and she can have some a little bit later. She completely has a meltdown and I regret not just giving her the damn cheese but of course, I can’t give it to her now. I cuddle her on the couch for a little bit until she calms down, and am able to distract her from wanting to nurse. I finish up my breakfast and look at the mound of dishes that I was supposed to do this morning. I still I’m walking around in my capris and a bra and I have to do my hair quick before we go to school. I turn on the TV for Olivia because I decide it’s not worth the argument and text Chris again.
9:50 am: I head downstairs to blow dry my hair and straighten it. Toby needs to go outside because he’s been drinking so much water from the steroids he’s on. Then I head back upstairs, give Olivia the cheese stick, and head to the room to throw on a shirt. I realize I still haven’t made any coffee, so I grind some up and set it to brew while I put makeup on. If figure I’m going to be dealing with shit all day, I may as well have mascara on to feel better about myself. Then I grab a yogurt from the refrigerator to eat, before heading to the bedrooms to grab her a new dress and to brush my teeth. I vacuum up the living room rug and decide to diffuse some oils because it still smells like poop in here. I figure I’m probably going to have to vacuum again when I get home later so I leave the vacuum out.
10:25 am: I was right. As I’m putting her on the potty before we head to school, I look at the front of the couch and see smears of poop. That’s it. I’m done being Mom today. I’m done. As I ponder cleaning the couch versus burning the house down, Olivia pops up from the potty, and there is still no pee. I tell her to try again and she spits in my face. This lovely new behavior is something I don’t even know how to deal with. Since we’re running late, I pick her up from the couch where she’s gone limp, refusing to move even though I’ve told her we’re going to school. I end up having to drag her out and buckle her in the car, throwing her sandals in for later. She tells me her tummy hurts. I ask if she’s OK, if her tummy hurts. No, she says. Yes, it hurts. Nope, I’m good. Tummy hurts. I’m OK. We play this game back and forth and I decide she’s just being two and we head out to school. Luckily, it’s only about a five minute drive.
10:31 am: We pull into the parking lot. Olivia doesn’t want to hold my hand and whines for a bit until we walk in. Once she’s in her classroom, she’s perfectly fine and runs over to grab her name badge off the name chart to drop in the basket. I spend some time talking to one of her teachers about how our morning has gone and how potty training is going. Today, they have a colored glue activity with wooden blocks to make an abstract art. Olivia of course, makes two of them. Circle time is OK, with only once with her spitting in my face (I thought hitting was bad—spitting is a whole other ball game), and some moments of her not participating, but then they bring the parachute out and she is all good. Right before snack time, she runs into the bathroom to wash her hands and I have her use the kids’ toilet. She pees a ton and then poops a little bit. As she’s screeching excitedly that she pooped, I’m holding my breath and stick another pull-up on her because the old one is almost ripped off. I still don’t trust her not to poop and not tell me. We have a parenting discussion on aggressive behaviors in kids (timely) and then the kids come back from the gym. One of her teachers comes to me and explains that a friend pulled Olivia’s hair really hard and Olivia was upset. I look at Olivia and she gets her best Sad Baby face and we talk about telling our friends no, stop pulling my hair, that hurts. Afterward, Olivia runs over to the friend in question and points in her face, babbling about “See pull mah hair!” I pretend not to see and crack up to myself. Later, I ask Olivia who pulled her hair and now have the guilty toddler in question’s name. I feel like I’ve somehow gained so much more knowledge now that my kid can spill the beans.
12:26 pm: We are back in the car heading home. I call my mom to see if she wants to have lunch, but she doesn’t answer. We head home and I take out Olivia’s abstract art and put it on the floor in the garage to dry. We head inside and take off her shoes and she wants some water. I get her a glass and go check out the couch and the carpet to vacuum up. I’m still smelling poop, even with the diffuser going, so I clean the area for the third time. Luckily I can open up the windows to air out the house a bit. She runs to the bathroom to wash her hands and I start making her a grilled turkey and cheese at the stove. She wants to watch, so she stands on her stool while I peel a blood orange and flip the sandwich.
12:52 pm: I get Olivia settled with lunch and I sit down to catch up on the post notes again.
I make a Hot Pocket and we listen to a Disney soundtrack while we eat. It’s warming up in the house, already at 74 degrees and I’m too hot to eat much more than that. Olivia takes awhile, but ends up eating all of her lunch. I wash her up and she wants to watch the Lion King. I can’t find it on the Plexus, but luckily she sees Storks and wants to watch that.
1:37 pm: I decide to start in on the dishes and clean up the kitchen. After the dishwasher is started and the countertops clean, it’s after 2:00. I take her potty again, and this time she goes. I change her into a new pull-up and we head to her room. As we get there, I remember the laundry I need to start, so I quickly run down and toss it in, holding the rinsed poop underwear with two fingers. Olivia has somehow managed to hurt herself somehow during that time and meets me on the stairs crying, saying she hurt her leg. She no longer wants to read, and just wants to nurse. As we’re settling in into the glider, she immediately tells me she has to poop. We get back up, and with the lullaby still going, head to the bathroom. I read The Little Mermaid to her while she poops. A ton. It’s really loose and afterward, she says her tummy hurts, so I wonder if she’s having some GI issues.
2:36 pm: We’re finally ready for nap and she’s nurses. It doesn’t take her long to fall asleep.
2:48 pm: She’s sufficiently passed out, so I put her to bed, cover her up and turn on the white noise. I head downstairs after grabbing my water cup. I’m dying of thirst again. I throw in her load of clothes into the dryer and put the towels in the washer, and turn on the TV. I check a few emails for work, but I’m too exhausted to write an article. I work on this post instead while watching a Dr. Phil episode. Lately, I’ve been watching Law and Order: SVU on Netflix, but this one has caught my attention. I spend the next hour blogging, watching the show and occasionally muttering, “Oh shit, she didn’t,” especially when the overbearing Catholic mother refers to the opioid crisis as “a bunch of hysteria” and telling her daughter, a 19-year-old who drinks a lot and takes to Twitter, that she’s a prostitute.
3:40 pm: I restart the dryer that has her clothes going and take a peek at Olivia to see she’s still sleeping.
4:10 pm: I switch the towels to the dryer and start folding Olivia’s laundry. Someone contacts me about an item I’m selling on Marketplace, and I’m hoping she can pick it up today. I turn on Law and Order and continue working on my post when I see Olivia is still sleeping. Chris texts me that he’ll bring me wine and hot dogs to grill. I love this man. Even if he fills my tub with a bunch of balls with pee on them.
4:27 pm: Olivia is awake on the monitor and is heading out of her room. I pause the show, put my laptop aside and go upstairs to intercept her. I take her potty and find her pull-up dry. It’s probably the first time and I cheer for her as she pees. We read The Little Mermaid again as she sits there. She tells me again her tummy hurts and I hear a big rumble from her stomach. I help her into underwear and we wash our hands and head downstairs, her asking “I wan go ouside!” As we’re heading out, Toby already ahead of us, she says she wants to nurse: “I wan nur!”
4:55 pm: She is done nursing, so I put her shoes on and slip on flip flops and we head outside, for real this time. I tell her if she needs to go potty that she needs to tell me and she nods.
5:20 pm: As she’s running around and I’m taking a video of her, I see Chris coming from the back garage door. He has a package and hands it to Olivia as she runs up to greet him. She opens up her package from her friend out in California and it’s a bunch of training pants and a little artwork. She’s beside herself. “My new unwear!”
Chris starts grilling the hot dogs and I come hang out with him while Olivia plays with Toby in the yard. It’s so nice out so we end up having dinner outside. She pretty much ate a couple of her chips and I thought maybe she snuck one bite of her hot dog but that was it. She runs around the yard while Chris and I finish dinner. I have her use her potty again.
6:11 pm: Dinner is done and we spend some time playing outside with bubbles and Chris takes Olivia to go water the broccoli plants. Around 6:40, I give her the warning that it’s time to go in soon. A few minutes later, we pack up and head inside. Chris takes her potty and I vacuum the carpet and couch again.
7:02 I finished vacuuming and call it good, even though I swear I still smell a lingering poop stench. Tomorrow, I’ll spray it with Lysol. Potty training sucks. I bring the vacuum downstairs to use it tomorrow, and start blogging again while Chris puts her to bed. He helps her with her teeth, flossing and getting her pajamas on. There are some nights I nurse her, but most of the time, I say goodnight to her and go downstairs, in order to move along the weaning process.
7:45 pm: Chris comes downstairs with two wine glasses and tells me she pooped again and the upstairs is stinky. I’m not sure what’s going on with her. He asks if I want to sit outside again and have some wine. We hang out on the Adirondack chairs, sipping two glasses each and talking, having our wine time for the week.
10:18 pm: We come inside again and I check out the slice in Chris’s leg. Last weekend, while chopping wood, Chris hit his ankle with the ax and I wasn’t sure if it needed stitches, but we used some steri strips I had left over, and now I see it’s looking good. I put some antibiotic ointment on and a big Bandaid, and text a friend back with dinner plans for Monday. The girl from earlier in the day ended up writing back again and we finalized plans for her to buy my item I’m selling. We head upstairs and brush our teeth and I change into my pajamas. I take my pills (magnesium, vitamin D, and my ranitidine).
10:35 pm: We get into bed and while Chris rolls over to sleep after kissing me, I lay there and read Wild by Cheryl Strayed for a bit until I feel ready to fall asleep.
10:50 pm: Olivia cries out from the other room, and I check the monitor on my phone. She’s stirring, but she settles quickly. I breathe a sigh of relief and shut my light off. She ends up sleeping all night.