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#Microblog Mondays: It’s almost like having a puppy…

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

Olivia is in what I call the “Puppy Dog” phase. Let me explain.

She’s been into picking anything up off the floor, carpet lint, dog hair… questionable crumbs…. and sticking it into her mouth to eat. Sometimes she will look around for me to see if I’m watching her before frantically shoveling whatever disgusting thing she found into her mouth. Bonus points if she succeeds in actually swallowing it since, well, have you ever tried to pry open the mouth out of an unwilling baby to remove something? Do you realize how many nooks and crevices are in there?

I swear I can’t walk away from her for a second without coming back to find her chewing thoughtfully like a cow chews cud. It’s gross.

Every day I discover more and more things to baby proof and prevent, but every day she bests me.

Keep her away from the dog food so she can’t choke? No problem.
Keep device cords up out of her reach so she doesn’t electrocute herself? Check.
Break food up into little pieces so they are easier to chew, and to throw on the floor? Double Check.

You get where I’m coming from. But seriously. I thought I kept relatively clean floors. At least since Olivia started crawling. Before that I have let slide all the dust bunnies on the floor. Ok fine, maybe they were more like dust German Shepherds, but still, I’m so much more conscious of that now and make sure to fully sweep and vacuum at least once a week. Apparently that’s not good enough. In my defense, I can’t quite figure out the mode on our vacuum that will make the bristles dig deeper into the carpet to pick up more crap Olivia can stick in her mouth. 

(I could read the instructions on the vacuum, but I can’t find them. Perhaps Olivia ate them? Like she tries to eat everything else, I’m sure she could shove an entire owners manual into her mouth.)

In related news, her crib has also been feeling her puppy tenancies. After making a shocking discovery that she has been not just gnawing, but literally chewing pieces off her crib (and probably swallowing them) when she’s in there for naps and early mornings, Chris and I looked into crib rail protectors. After refusing to spend the $70 for the gummy ones, we ordered these cloth ones that tie off Amazon. Now maybe the gummy ones wouldn’t have stretched the length of the crib either, but it was looking like a giant waste of money. She learned to push them back, exposing the tasty underbelly of the crib, and proceeded to gnaw her way into blissful oblivion. Gross. All those swallowed splinters couldn’t be good for her.

Mama, can I haz some more tasty crib splinters?

It was Chris who had the bright idea to tie flour sack cloths to both corners, making it virtually impossible to untie with tiny baby fingers. Even when they are attached to an increasingly smart baby.

Since then, we’ve had no more issues. She tries though. I’ll watch her on the monitor, her face smashed into the crib rail, desperately gnawing on the four sacks. To no avail.

And boom goes the dynamite.

  

You can find more of this week’s #MicroblogMondays posts by clicking here.

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Amie
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I hear ya!! Bowen has these little plastic balls that he tries desperately to chew on but of course doesn't realize they won't fit in his mouth! I guess I should be on the look out for crib chewing..oh my! We were sitting on our deck and I was letting him crawl around and then I noticed he was under my chair for a while and then saw that he was taking wood pieces out of a knot in the wood and you guessed it putting it in his mouth. Luckily I think I managed to dig it all out… Read more »

Cristy
Guest

Yes, the chewing. It's hard because we want them to explore their environment, but the chewing wasn't something I was prepared for. We still deal with this sometimes as taste is a powerful sense. Thankfully we usually can distract with something else, but it is definitely a battle. Keep up the good fight!

Amber
Guest

Oh yes. Ayden ate EVERYTHING, literally, for 2.5 years. His crib has the really nice chew effect. He pulled carpet pieces out and ate them all the time. He ate his own hair. He pulled his diapers apart and ate all the little diaper fibers. We constantly had to find new ways to divert him from eating everything he wasn't supposed to! I wish you the best of luck and hope that Olivia's phase will be more short lived.

Amanda
Guest

Mom said my brother and I were not chewers, although had been known to scour under the table for tidbits. Now, my child is another story. I'm surprised that her first sentence wasn't "Not in the mouth," or "spit it out." Isn't mommyhood grand? 🙂

Rachel Ritlop
Guest

I nannied for 8 years and the chewinggg! Haha I don't think I was prepared for that! Keep it up! I used to joke I was going to record myself saying "not in the mouth, out out out!" and just hit the button because i got so tired of saying it

Rachel | The Confused Millennial

Risa
Guest

Ha ha! I love it!! I literally laughed out loud reading this. I need a recorder now…

Risa
Guest

Hee hee! Olivia loves tidbits. Her first words will probably be, "Ew! Gross! Spit that out!"

Risa
Guest

I've determined Olivia is very "orally fixated." According to Google.

Lollipop Goldstein
Guest

I am crying from laughing so hard. I am trying to read this to Josh, but I can't get the words out, and he is looking at me as if I'm crying. This is the part that pushed me over the edge: "She learned to push them back, exposing the tasty underbelly of the crib, and proceeded to gnaw her way into blissful oblivion." I cannot. stop. laughing.

Jess
Guest

Oh, how funny! I feel like I see Olivia as those wind-up teeth muncher things, only without as many teeth… Nothing is safe! It's like a zombie setup, only your crib and dust bunnies are the victims. I hope she gets through this chewing thing quickly before your house falls victim all over… 🙂

JustHeather
Guest

I feel you. I had it quite easy though, neither of my kids did it for long and definitely by 1 year old it was more of an exception than norm. However, Paxlet did get his hands and mouth on a cat turd one day. I freaked, literally, and screamed at him that it fell away from him and I scared him. After I calmed down, I laughed so hard I cried and had a hard time explaining it to hubby. Paxlet never ate cat poo again. So, win win.
May Olivia's eating everything days be short lived.