So apparently that whole thing about losing half your bladder when you sneeze? True. As I came to find out.
It’s allergy season. And I can’t take my allergy meds. At least the ones that would work for me. I was doing so well up until two weeks ago. I woke up one morning and was sitting on the chair reading peacefully when suddenly I had this horrific sneeze coming and when I did, I peed. Like a lot. Now I had started this process awhile back but never to this extent. So after some grumbling and a change of undies, I settled back down to read. Which turned into the Apocalypse of Pee. For the next two hours, I think I sneezed 1,405 times, which probably was more like 20 but still, I went through two more pairs of underwear before I finally got the idea to put a pad on. Like a fluffy overnight one. And I continued to sneeze every few minutes and pee and then when I started feeling like a toddler, I went to switch out the pad. It was bad you guys. And really embarrassing. And I have no filter right now because I’m pregnant and I can get away with whatever I want so of course I’m blogging about it and telling you all.
But seriously. I wouldn’t have to blog about it if someone would have told me just HOW MUCH I COULD PEE MY PANTS WHEN PREGNANT. Thanks a lot.
Ok so fast forward to that night. I removed all padding because the allergies calmed down and I was doing ok. Chris got home from work and I was sitting on the couch next to him telling him about my day. I had to leave the house at 6:15 and at 6:12, I started to stand up, saying, “Ok well I should get going.”
Cue sneeze one. I was in mid air about to stand and felt the sneeze coming. I couldn’t even do my usual leg crossing because of how I was on the couch. The first one wasn’t bad and before I could say “SONOFABITCH!” I sneezed again, even more violently.
Peed, you guys. On the couch. An impressive amount. I stood up and started ranting while Chris leaped up when he saw the ginormous wet spot.
“Great!” I roared, “I have to be leaving now, but no! That’s ok! I’ll just go change again!” I stomped off to the bedroom in my pee pants while Chris kind of laughed awkwardly, like OMG this is disgusting, and went to the kitchen.
Then to make matters worse, I discovered I had peed in my last pair of maternity pants so I had to use the last resort yoga pants, which used to fit me just fine until I got pregnant and my hips got wide and now they’re just uncomfortable and make my belly fat stick out.
I changed and brought the maternity pants out to show Chris. “Look!” I showed him as he passed by me, dutifully touting paper towels to the couch to clean up my pee. I wonder if he was finding this just as sexy as I was?
“Yes, I see you peed a lot.” He continued to the couch to clean it while I grabbed my purse to leave.
Chris, have I told you how much I love you?
Ok, so besides the whole emptying of the bladder into every pair of pants I own, I’ve been doing well. The baby is definitely getting bigger and practicing her punches and somersaults. Last weekend I went with my mom and sister to the play Grease and at one point when the music was particularly loud and upbeat, baby started violently kicking me. Like five times, enough to make me leap in my chair. Girl, I swear on all that it holy, you WILL grow up to like “Greased Lightening”!
My blood pressure started to rise this week. I had cut my dose of Labetelol in half about 6 weeks ago, but Sunday I had this weird lightheaded spell where I almost tipped over on the chair I was sitting in and then two hours later when I got home started getting a headache. I have no idea if the two are related, but my bp was a little elevated. The triage nurse that I spoke with Tuesday had me come in to see the OB for it. The highest it was was 138/92 and he told me that though they allow pregnant women to have a higher blood pressure for uterine blood flow, he agreed mine was creeping up and we went back to my full dose of Labetelol. He said he wants me to monitor it twice a week and it’s ok for it to get to 140/90. If it’s over 160/105 I am to lay down for 15 minutes and recheck it. If it’s still that, I am to go in.
I’m glad we have a plan but with this whole marginal cord insertion thing, it makes me worried about maintaining my BP so that baby gets all her nutrients. He seemed ok with it so far, but wanted me to come back in two weeks.
And now I leave you with a picture of me and a bump.