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Let me show you my psycho

4:07am: Wake up. Have to pee. Swallow thyroid med. Hope a full glass of water doesn’t make me barf.

5:15am: Husband rolls out of bed. Momentary flash of anger for waking me up.

6:47am: Wake up. Pee.

8:45am: Must get up. Must do shot. Pee.

8:49am: Inject Lovenox. Fingers crossed for no giant bruise by the end of the day.

9:07am: Eat whatever doesn’t make me want to gag for breakfast.

9:15am: Swallow 7 pills in order of importance in case I gag. Curse infertility for so many pills.

9:43am: Google 6 week US images. Just because.

9:44am: Is that really what the baby looks like?

10:00am: Pee.

10:03am: Catch glimpse of 5w4d belly in bathroom mirror. Awww!

10:06am: Catch glimpse 5w4d belly in full-length mirror while brushing hair. Gross.

10:15am: Google pregnancy symptoms.

10:17am: Is the baby really in there? Am I just fat and like to eat?

10:30am: Pee.

10:57am: Pee. Damn coffee. Damn water.

11:12am: Feel hungry again.

11:14am: Nope. Too tired to get off couch.

12:02pm: Ok, I’m getting really hungry. Also slightly nauseous.

12:08pm: Ew. Nothing in this house sounds good.

12:10pm: Debate going out for fast food.

12:11pm: NO! I AM STRONG! ALSO, I HAVE NO MONEY.

12:22pm: Pee. Urine not pale yellow. Chug more water.

12:25pm: Ok, seriously I need to eat something. I don’t feel good.

12:30pm: Make quesadilla. Hold back gag when I open jar of salsa.

12:40pm: Scarf quesadilla at alarming rate.

1:00pm: Google beta calculator. Enter in last two betas.

1:02pm: What does this shit even mean?

1:03pm: Swear off Google for the day.

1:10pm: Fall asleep on couch. Mouth may have been open.

2:07pm: Wake up. Pee. Drink more water.

2:14pm: Husband texts. Wants grocery list written. Everything sounds disgusting.

2:15pm: Text back that everything sounds disgusting.

2:17pm: Husbands texts back and says he understands, but could I please make a list because he doesn’t have anything for lunches for work.

2:18pm: Consider texting back: I’M CARRYING YOUR CHILD JERKFACE!

2:25pm: Make grocery list.

2:54pm: Do dishes. Feel accomplished for the day.

3:10pm: Pee. Study toilet paper for signs of blood.

3:11pm: Panic that I will lose the baby.

3:22pm: Nod off while watching TV.

5:02pm: Husband home from work and wakes me up. Says I was snoring. Resist urge to punch him.

5:40pm: Is it time for bed yet?

5:44pm: Eat dinner. Slight nausea.

6:02pm: Time for PIO injection!

6:08pm: Scream into pillow as husband massages injection sites on butt. Think I am going to die.

6:09pm: How I am going to do these injections for 7 more weeks?

7:03pm: OMG! I am so pregnant! Rub fat roll lovingly.

7:42pm: Took a walk. That’s exercise. Reward myself with ice cream. And a girl scout cookie.

8:09pm: Pee. This is fucking ridiculous.

8:26pm: Stare at clock. It’s not weird to want to go to bed now, right?

8:27pm: Take evening meds. Lay on husband’s lap while he plays video games.

8:28pm: He’s probably enjoying me falling asleep so early so he can play his video game. Assface.

8:34pm: Fall asleep on husband’s lap.

9:45pm: Husband wakes me up. Tells me to go up to bed.

9:47pm: Pee.

9:49pm: Eat five saltines.

9:52pm: In bed. Can’t sleep on side. Boobs feel like bowling balls.

9:54pm: Roll onto back. Squeal when I roll over injection sites on butt.

10:05pm: Asleep for real.

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LisamarieKatie JeanneKate PayneAubreyMelissa Long Recent comment authors
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Just T
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Wow reading this made me totally anxious. Deep breaths, deep breaths.

Risa
Guest

Ha ha aww really? I meant it to just be funny 🙂

Risa
Guest

Ha ha aww really? I meant it to just be funny 🙂

Shilo Bonanzza
Guest

I love your posts im so glad im not the only crazy wife out there your story gives me so much hope im super excited for the 2 of you infertility is such a bitch right along with the mthfr gene I love love love your posts they make me giggle

Cindy
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Cindy

You are so awesome! I absolutely love your updates. Fresh, raw. Real!

Ashley Sanderson
Guest

Hahaha you make me laugh! I hate that dang thyroid pill in the morning too! Has so many rules of when it should be taken and what it can't be taken with! Have you tried an ice pack before the PIO? That saved my backside BIG time!!!

Cristy
Guest

Sounds about right. Hang in there!

Melissa Long
Guest

Shew no wonder you're exhausted! The mental energy alone to do all that!

Aubrey
Guest

I'm so impressed you made it until 10pm!!! 😉

Kate Payne
Guest

That's what I was going to say, LOL

Katie Jeanne
Guest

This sounds totally normal! Thanks for your honesty and humor!

Lisamarie
Guest

I just found your blog. Congratulations! I absolutely love that you lovingly called your husband "assface".

Lisamarie
Guest

I just found your blog. Congratulations! I absolutely love that you lovingly called your husband "assface".