Things are moving too fast, can we pwease slow it down a bit?
The day Risa was finally treated like a pregnant person
I wanted to run screaming from the nurse’s room because I am so not ready for this OB business
Years ago, year and years ago, back in the day when I thought I was going to get pregnant on my own after a few months of trying, I started researching. I read this book Pushed by Jennifer Block. It’s basically about the way we treat pregnant women in the US and the skyrocketing cesarean rates done unnecessarily. Back then, I read the book and thought I had my whole birth plan figured out: I would get a good old-school midwife and deliver in some birth center. Or I would find an underground midwife, and deliver at home in a water bath. It would be absolutely perfect, hands-off and natural. I looked into centers and started researching midwives.
Then infertility hit. And it was medications, technology and lots of doctor appointments. That “hands-off” birth I thought I was going to have turned into me scoffing, “What birth? I don’t even have a hope of a pregnancy!”
I think there are many women out there who can go to the chiropractor or the acupuncturist or the Chinese herbal medicine lady and will get pregnant. I don’t believe I would be here now, seven weeks pregnant without a brilliant doctor that is aggressively treating my MTHFR mutation issues with Folgard, baby aspirin, and Lovenox injections. In fact, I 100% think this baby is still alive in me because of the Lovenox. Well, and the high doses of progesterone and estrogen. Point being, science and doctors have been a huge part of my life for the last few years. And that’s what I have gotten used to.
So two weeks ago, when my fertility clinic informed me that I should make an 8 week first OB visit so that my care could be transitioned over by 12 weeks, I was like, “Wait, saaaaay whaaaa???”
Suddenly, I had to choose an OB provider, like, now. And the underground midwife went out the window because I had to scramble. I ended up choosing a doc who I actually saw six years ago for initial fertility concerns. He’s a great doctor, and has personal interests in infertility and high-risk pregnancies.
Once I decided on him, I made my first appointment, which went swimmingly when I was patiently trying to explain to the scheduler that my last menstrual period means jack because I went through an IVF procedure.
Me: “I can tell you my transfer date was March 25th. I am 6 weeks, 3 days today. My due date is December 11th.”
Scheduler: “What’s a transfer date?”
Me: “Um, well the transfer of my embryos. You know, for an IVF procedure? Um, transferring the embryos into my uterus?”
Scheduler: (probably desperately trying to find a box for “transfer date”) “Uh, oh, ok.. transfer date… well we’ll just put it there.” Silent typing.
She went on to tell me that I needed to make an OB educator appointment first and then I would make an appointment for the doctor for my first OB visit.
Scheduler: “They want to see you between 6 and 8 weeks. So if your transfer date was March 25th… You would be six weeks on May 6th.”
Me: (facepalm) “No, you don’t understand. I am 6 weeks, 3 days today. I know exactly how far along I am. The egg thaw and conception occurred the Friday before the 25th….” Trailing off because I am so losing her at this point.
Scheduler: “Let me put you on hold.”
Scheduler: “Ok, now and you said you did IVF? What’s that?”
Me: (deep breath) “Invitro Fertilization? Where the egg and sperm are fertilized in a lab and then embryos are transferred back?”
Scheduler: “Um… So IV…S? As in Sam?”
Me: “F, as in Fertilization.”
We never discussed it further. But bless her heart that she has no clue what IVF means. Really. Bless her heart.
Anyway, I met with an RN today for my OB education appointment. It’s an hour long and you go over your history, meds and then the education packets. We ended up spending the whole hour on my history and medications. Luckily, we had more time and could finish the meeting. I left with a slew of packets and booklets and things to remember and all I am thinking is, “I’m sorry I can’t think about pre-registering at the hospital when all I can focus on is if my baby still has a heartbeat!”
All in all, my first appointment with the OB doc is May 6th along with an US. I can’t tell you how happy I am to be having weekly US until 12 weeks with my fertility clinic because I won’t be getting another until my 20 week anatomy scan. But I can’t say I didn’t walk out of there overwhelmed with all things prenatal. I mean, I am trying not to think of a miscarriage but the thought it always there.
And this post is getting long and I am only 7 weeks, and can’t think too much about delivery, but I will talk about how different my reality is from what I was envisioning six years ago for delivering a baby in another post.
But I’m still here. Still pregnant. I have my 8 week US on Thursday and I am in desperate need to see this baby again, for reassurance that she didn’t go anywhere.