When did “when” become “if”?

Guess what, you guys? I have bloglovin’! Don’t ask me how to use it. I don’t get it. But I figure I should probably get it because I’ve heard it’s easier to follow blogs on. I’ve been working on adding blogs to it, but leave a comment on here if you have a blog and I will follow you!

This week has been a bit crazy. We got our first foster puppy, Dudley, on Sunday night. He is an almost 5 month old Manchester Terrier and is cute as a button. I use that comparison, because this morning he tried to frantically eat one off a quilt I have. Puppies. I forgot how much work they are.

Chris and I talked about fostering dogs for awhile now. I am home a lot more now and we decided to take the plunge. The dogs that come to the rescue are from high kill shelters, mostly from the southern states, and from northern Minnesota, up on the reservations. The rescue takes dogs in danger of being euthanized, and transports them up here to Minnesota to stay with volunteer families who take them in. Our job is to provide love, teach manners, and give them a home to stay in while they look for an adoptive family.

I look at Dudley and see him as a playful puppy, but the reality is, he was taken because he would have been put to sleep otherwise. It hurts my heart and that is what makes me want to do this. My hope is that he is adopted before we go to Texas for the donor egg transfer, otherwise he will need to go stay with another foster.

This week’s article for mom.me discusses some of the feelings I have had lately about my thought process during infertility, appropriately titled, When Did “When” Become “If”?


I’ve gotten into this bad habit when talking about the future by referring to “if” I have kids, rather than saying “when” I have kids.

Way back before we ever started trying, kids were this abstract concept, something we thought we would eventually get when I messed up my birth control schedule, or by splitting a bottle of Chardonnay some night after a cabin-in-the-woods party. In other words, kids were a thing of the future—a given.

Read the rest of the article here.

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~ Megz ~Elisha KearnsandthewindscreamsmaryEmAmanda Recent comment authors
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Bloglovin does work pretty well once you get it set up. I don't for the life of me remember how I did it but it transferred all of my blogs over from blogger. I still use both for some reason though :-/

Amanda Eisenberg

Reading your article it sounds like my DFET will be just a few weeks before yours – hoping that THIS is finally the time for both of us to transition from "if" to "when".


What a sweetie! Why would anyone want to consider euthanizing him is beyond me. Glad you are able to do this amazing thing by fostering.

Nodding along with your article. Honestly, I don't know when the transition happens, but it's not uncommon for those of us that go down this rabbit hole. Sending hugs.


Such good hearts you have! Dudley is lucky to have you!!

Jessah @ Dreaming of Dimples

Such a cute pup! Great job on the article.


A. i love bloglovin. once you get your blogs over on it, it's great. B. i love even more that you are fostering a pup! that is awesome and he is a cutie!


What an adorable pup! Even at 18 weeks, I haven't transitioned from "if" to "when"


Ugh, the dreaded "if" and not "when". I have written that post before and it sucked!!! It is hard to know when our words and thoughts change from one to the other. *hugs*

Such a cute puppy.

Non Sequitur Chica

Dudley is adorable! My sister fosters dogs and it's such an awesome thing to do!

I didn't transition from if to when until I was probably somewhere in my third trimester.


I was a big "when we have kids" talker. I never for one millisecond believed that wouldn't. It was understood. A given. And even once IF started, I still spoke like that, I think out of habit, but also naivete… I just assumed we'd beat infertility eventually. For me, the change to "if' was very intentional. It was a way for me to acknowledge that this whole thing, all of it, is out of my control. It was a way of relinquishing that control back to the Man in Charge. But I think with time, it has slowly adjusted my… Read more »


And we will all be repeating that mantra with you…when, when, WHEN. As in, when your friends throw you a baby shower, I better be on the guest list.


Dudley is a cutie! What a wonderful thing you are doing by fostering the dogs, my heart smiled when I read this.

Elisha Kearns

What a cute doggie! As far as the "if" and "when"….I have found myself going back and forth on the word I use and sometimes it's not deliberate. I used to always say "when" until infertility hit and then it became "if"…but for some reason I had convictions about using the word "if." Because while I told people I had faith God would fulfill the desires He had placed in my heart, I was saying, "If" as though my faith that He would was weak. Does that even make sense? So for the most part, unless I slip up, I… Read more »

~ Megz ~

Love the foster doggie!! <3 many prayers for this year as you navigate through your journey <3