Ok you guys.
If I have ever complained about how much it sucks being infertile and doing IUI, IVF, and so on and so forth….
It sucks much more to be infertile and be faced with this.
What to do?
First of all, we have an appointment to conference with Dr. K July 23rd. Sort of a mother-of-all-that-is-holy-hold-me-and-tell-me-I’m-awesome-even-if-my-eggs-are-shit kind of conference. Because the truth is, it doesn’t matter why this cycle didn’t work. It’s more for peace of mind so I am not left wondering. We are also going to meet with the donor coordinator to discuss options. Our clinic offers an Attain program for egg donation. Three fresh and three frozen IVF cycles, just like we had, but using donor eggs. Several months ago when we met with the coordinator to discuss the program, we were told it would be $35,000, not including meds. Not that this was a walk in the park, but we were prepared to consider it.
We got the information packet yesterday. Let me lay out what the options can be:
Attain, using donor eggs
A single donor IVF cycle
Use a frozen egg bank
We looked in the packet last night. I am not sure what the catch is, why we are getting completely different numbers, but we saw the price of Attain’s donor egg program.
How? How can anyone afford that?? I literally had to shake my head at that one.
The cost of a single donor egg cycle?
Again. Fuck. That. I mean, this whole thing is just insane. I especially can’t understand the price tag of a single donor cycle. If it doesn’t work, you lose it all. Gone. Poof.
How can they expect people to pay for this stuff? So, as of now, using donor eggs is out. There is just no way we can swing that. And the waiting list can be about 7-8 months.
Attain, using donor eggs A single donor IVF cycle
Use a frozen egg bank
So we looked at the brochures in the folder about frozen egg banks. Ok, we thought, looking through the glossy pages with pictures of smiling babies, Well this could be good. “The frozen egg bank cycle can be performed within 1-2 months.” “30-50% less cost than a fresh IVF cycle!”
Yeah. Assured Refund Plan (6 frozen transfers): $42,000. Cost of a single frozen cycle: $18,000.
Can someone tell me how this can possibly be “much more cost effective” than a fresh donor cycle?
Again. Fuck. That.
Eggs, it would seem, are out of the question. I mean, no decision has officially been made, but with a price tag of about $45,000 I just don’t think we could do it.
Attain, using donor eggs A single donor IVF cycle Use a frozen egg bank
So that leaves us with embryos. Donation? Adoption? Who knows. I was really holding out hope that our child could at least share genes with one of us. Chris seems to not think it’s a big deal if his sperm isn’t used, but I was pretty broken up about it. After all, there is nothing wrong with him. Why should he miss out on having a child with his genetics just because his wife has a shitty body? Ugh, it sucks.
This whole thing SUCKS!
I digress. I could be wrong, but I believe there are two places in the country where one could pursue embryo adoption (EA). One of those places is in Tennessee at the National Embryo Donation Center (NEDC). You pay for a home study (yes, a home study like in a traditional adoption) which I think is a couple hundred dollars, and the entire cost, excluding meds and the home study are about $5,000. Throw in another $2,000 for plane tickets, as they require you to travel to the clinic twice during the cycle, and voila! Affordable.
Another couple we know (who may be reading this blog :)) went this route and have a beautiful little girl from EA. We’ve asked them a few questions, just to get some more information. I know some of you reading this have been through EA. What are your experiences? Anyone who went to NEDC?
Our second serious consideration is embryo donation. More or less the same as EA, but no home study, because it’s not an “adoption.” This is another option for us, but I don’t know where to go for this one. They say it’s more difficult getting donor embryos.
So there you have it. Options. At least we are thinking about options. Better than eating copious amounts of chips and dip and drowning my sorrows in a beer. Which I did last night.