IVF makes me roll my eyes

Well here I am posting again 5 weeks later.  Where does the time go?  Really?  I’ve only blogged three other times this year.  I remember going through the first IVF, how excited I was.  How I had so much to tell you guys.

I got my period! Woo hoo!  IVF begins!  Here is a picture of my bruise from my blood draw!

Cray-cray guys! I start shots!  ZOMG I’m so nervous! Here is a picture of one of the needles!

Someone pinch me!  My retrieval is today!  Here is a video of me after!

Oh wow!  Transfer day!!! Here is a picture of my embryo!!

Squee!! Look at a picture of my pregnancy test!! Try not to think about the fact that I just peed on it! I’m pregnant!!!!!

Then I lost him.  And then the second IVF could not have gone worse.  And then I developed all sorts of wacky health issues as a result of the meds for the third attempt, which was then cancelled. 

And now here I am, 6 months from the last IVF.  I’ve gone from hopeless romantic to shit-could-you-BE-more-infertile-GAWD! in a matter of 9 months.  I’m so infertile, that even a bunch of men using state-of-the-art technology couldn’t even give me a baby even when the gawddamn sperm was injected right into my egg.  I mean, really.  How much more lazy could those sperms be?

Sperm #1: Uh, dude, shouldn’t we be, like, swimming toward it or something?

Sperm #2: Nah man, we cool.  See that long pointy thing up there?  Man, they gonna pick us up and put us right in there! We don’t gotta do nothing!

Sperm #1: Seriously? We don’t need to squirm our tails around or anything?

Sperm #2: Nah man.  We just gotta hang around and wait. 

Sperm #1: Really? I thought we had to like, swim toward it for our lives, and battle each other to the death for one of us to get in?

Sperm #2:  Nope.  That’s the beauty of it!  Those guys are gonna do it for us!  Here, have some chips while we wait.

I’ll be starting the third and last IVF using my own eggs in less than a week.  Who would have thought?  Certainly not me.

Chris and I got back from vacationing a week in Colorado, using his parents’ time-share that they so graciously let us use.  It was the best thing we could have done right before this IVF.

So I am trying to calm and de-stress myself.  After all, this ain’t my first rodeo.  I just want to move forward and move on.  I will be starting stims pretty much right away, instead of three weeks of birth control.  Which is good.  Because I just want to move on with it.  (But if you ask nicely, maybe I will provide some pictures of big scary needles and embarrassing pictures of me with no make-up. It is what I do best.)

You might also like

Leave a Reply

28 Comment threads
0 Thread replies
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
1 Comment authors
learning patience having hopeMrs. LostAislinnStupid StorkJoJo Recent comment authors
newest oldest most voted
Notify of

Love to hear from you. I'm sending all the good thoughts, prayers, and juju to you.


So happy to read a post from you! I will be thinking of you!!! XO

Amanda E

Welcome back! In theory I start stims for IVF #3 tomorrow (eeek) and this will be our last IF treatment, pending any frozen embryos, as our insurance only covers 3 IVFs per live birth (but close to unlimited FETs).

Katie Jeanne

I'm so happy to read a post from you! I will be thinking and praying for you! God bless you!

Jennifer T

Good luck on this next round of IVF. I hope all goes well! Thinking of you!

Not Pregnant And Pissed!

Its great to get an update from you…I've been wondering how and what you've been doing. Obviously I wish you the best of luck with round 3! I completely understand the jaded attitude, I'd feel exactly the same.


Oh I'm just so happy to hear from you, Risa! I'm really hoping that this round of IVF will go much better… no weird reactions to meds, nice healthy eggs, and happy (though lazy) sperm! Hoping big, big things for you!

Kandie Walker

Praying for you! Sure have missed hearing from you!

Just T

Love your pictures from Colorado and a perfect time for the time. Hoping you can go into this ivf with a clear mind. Can't wait to follow and hear how things go. It is time for a sticky take home baby!


Ahhhh, look at those mountains. Lovely.

Sending you all the good thoughts for IVF #3!

Ashley Sanderson

Glad to see you blogging! Praying for your 3rd IVF and that you can stay calm. I hope you can keep us updated. We all like to know how you're doing!


Good luck! Sending positive vibes your way!


This post says it all perfectly. I love the photos from Colorado. You definitely look happy and relaxed and I'm hoping that you're in that perfect place for IVF #3. I'm cheering you on and looking forward to those big needle and no make up photos!! 🙂


Good hearing from you!!! Glad you got a fun trip in!


Glad you're still around, if a bit more jaded. Welcome to the cynical dark side. 😉


Haw haw…that sperm conversation is funny. If the embryologist had a sense of humor, he'd choose the sperm that were laying around instead of the ones that were swimming. I know what you mean–if I had known that I would be doing 3 IVF cycles over 13 months, I would've started my own blog back then. I thought it would be 1 and done, which cracks me up now!


i am so glad you got to have a little retreat before this round.


Always happy to see an update from you! Best of luck on this round. We went on a little trip to Colorado last year and loved it. What a great way to relax before the crazy starts again.


Good to hear from you! Echoing Aramis -welcome to the cynical dark side! I'm getting ready for IVF#2 -sharing same cynical thoughts..


So happy to see you back in this space. Looking forward to following this IVF and praying like crazy that this is THE cycle.


Glad to hear from you and good luck with IVF #3. I am totally with you on the cynical thing.

And the conversation between the sperm…so funny.

Jenni Moore

It's great hearing from you! I've missed you! I'm glad you guys were able to get away before all the craziness started! Wishing you the best of luck on your upcoming cycle! Praying for you guys!


Good Luck, Risa! My fingers are crossed for you!


Goodluck on IVF #3. A vacation is always the best before starting a process like this.

Stupid Stork

Big scary needles! I always love a good picture of a big scary needle.


So happy to see you! Fingers crossed for this round of IVF <3

Mrs. Lost

Your trip looked so relaxing, I'm glad that you guys got away before this cycle started. I will be praying for you that everything works out this time. Thinking of you!

learning patience having hope

Awesome post! I totally felt the exact same way lol! Wishing you sooooo much luck! Good for you for taking a vacation!♡