I finally take my last birth control pill tonight. Saturday we have our baseline ultrasound and Sunday I start my Micro-lupron injections.
Things have been pretty quiet around here. I clearly have writer’s block/ nothing to say, but I am excited to get going on these shots. I hate the feeling of waiting around.
Cue post filled with negativity.
At our nurse consult a few weeks ago, I learned I gained 10 lbs from this last IVF cycle. The nurse also dropped a doozy on me, cheerfully telling me that I will be doing PIO injections this cycle.
If my husband didn’t have much experience with long, thick needles, he will. Oh, he will.
PIO. Progesterone in oil. Thick, viscous fluid injected into my ever-growing ass nightly, by the man whose eyes light up with a dangerous glee whenever he offers to give me my sub-q shots in my stomach. All for the children. I don’t know which is worse, waxy progesterone suppositories shoved up my lady bits twice a day, or PIO injections every night that make my butt sore and knotted.
Oh em gee, I love being infertile.
You want to know another reason I love being infertile?
Getting the sheer joy of talking with those lovely men and women of Ye Fucking Insurance Company. I would rather live in a cardboard box with my used syringes than deal with them ever again.
And from the recent conversations we have had with them, that dream is coming true sooner than I realized.
You see, we started out with a lifetime max of $10,000 for infertility medications. Those meds are expensive, ya’ll. Gonal-F alone is $3,000. And that’s just one of my medications. The money is gone now. Waaay gone. Like Miley Cyrus’ self-respect.
My big box of medications was supposed to come today. Yesterday we got a call from Freedom Fertility saying there was a problem with the order. Ye Fucking Insurance Company, or YeFIC, denied the Micro-Lupron. They also were saying we have hit our max.
Chris spent a good four hours total yesterday talking with Freedom and YeFIC. About 8:30 last night, the guy from the insurance gave Chris a prior authorization code that was only good that night for the Micro-Lupron protocol. He had to give it to Freedom that night for it to be valid for them to process.
Freedom was closed.
So today, he was talking to a women from YeFIC. Remember Puppy-Killer? Meet her cousin, Kitty Strangler.
Chris: Is the prior authorization code I received last night valid still? If not, I need a new authorization code for the Micro-Lupron.
Kitty-Strangler: Please hold.
~20 minutes later~
KS: Hmm, well the person who helped you last night did a manual override, and that isn’t standard procedure.
Chris: So it’s not valid? He was actually really nice, helping me out like that.
KS: Being nice is not standard procedure here, sir.
Chris: I don’t understand. So what do I do now?
KS: We can put it through the correct process and our team can review the request, but it can take 24-48 hours to be approved.
Chris: My wife needs this by this weekend.
KS: Well your wife can suck it, you’re still not getting the code.
Chris: Whoa now.
KS: You never should have been given that code.
Chris: How do I know you will process it in time? I don’t trust that you guys will get it in time.
KS: NO CODE FOR YOU!
Chris: Is there any way you can speed it up?
KS: You can have your doctor’s office call and tell us there is an imminent need for the medication, and it might go quicker.
Chris: So let me get this straight. We can wait up to two days for the prior authorization, or we can have our doctor call and there is still no guarantee it will get here in time.
Chris: You suck.
KS: You suck more.
So there you have it. My insurance company continues to be fun. My medications are supposed to come come tomorrow now. Hopefully. Except for the micro-lupron. In which we can wait around for, or we can go ahead and pay out of pocket for it. Which is $200. After the $3,000 Gonal-F, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea.
After this cycle, we are done with the insurance company. All the medications will then be out of pocket.
Tomorrow is my birthday. How many people can say they got a giant box of syringes and medication vials for their birthday? And thought it was the best present EVAH!?