More fun talking to people who don’t care about my infertileness

It’s been quite a Labor Day weekend.  We canned salsa Friday, then spent all of Saturday and the first part of Sunday canning 62 quarts of peaches that his parents brought us.  Saturday, we went out to eat with his family to celebrate Chris’, our niece, and my SIL’s birthdays.  (They were all born within three days of each other).  Sunday, we had our parents and some of his siblings over for homemade lasagna.  See, every year on his birthday, his mom would make her famous homemade lasagna with garlic bread and glazed angel food cake.  So for his 30th birthday last year, I attempted the Beastly Lasagna myself… and it turned out fabulous.  This year, I did it again, and it was a huge hit!

I have no pictures of this occasion, because 1) I am a tool with a sucky camera, and 2) I’m sick.  Like, Allergies of Death meets the Cold Of Doom.  Not attractive.  I stayed home from work today because my ears are plugged and I can’t speak properly.  Which doesn’t bode well when your job is 95% phone work.

So happy birthday to my other half!  I’m all set to make him can tomatoes and clean up the kitchen when he gets home tonight!  You’re welcome!

Chris and I have been in the process of finalizing our contract with Attain.  We received the contract, but they were still including monitoring fees, which we have covered under our insurance, so we had to speak with our IVF coordinator to get that taken off.  I was a bit confused about some of the things in the contract, so I called up our contact from Attain, but instead of getting Rose (her real name), I got Thorn (not her real name).

Me: Hi, um I just had some questions about our contract, um, first of all, we have monitoring covered so we will need a new contract with that cost taken out.

Thorn: (still chipper): Ok, well we will be in touch with the financial coordinator at your clinic.

Me: (giving a friendly reminder to follow up with that, since I Don’t Trust Anyone when it comes to handling IVF Monies.): Ok… well yes, we will just need a new contract issued for that.

Thorn, not so chipper: Yep, we will just need to confirm that.  We can’t just take your word.

Me, sneezing unintelligibly, probably swearing.

Thorn: I’m sorry?

Me: Um, ok so I was also wondering why it only seems to cover a transfer up to three days.  I mean, how does that work if our clinic wants to do a 5-day?

Thorn: Does it say “blastocyst culture” in your contract?

Me: I’m not sure. I know it says “embryo transfer (up to three days)” but I am not sure about blastocyst.

Thorn: Well “blastocyst” means 5-day transfer.

Me: I know what it means.

Thorn, sighing heavily: Well let me look in your contract.

Long pause, with awkward tapping of keys in the background.

Thorn: No, it isn’t there.  You would be responsible for paying your clinic if you wanted a blastocyst transfer.

Me: Even though a 5-day transfer is better than a 3-day?

Thorn: Yes, that’s correct.

Me: … Ok, and I guess I have one other question.  I was reading about the termination policy and it says in there that if I have a cancelled cycle, say, due to poor response from medications, that the contract is terminated and we are out of the program. Is that true? ( I was hoping for some clarification to this.)

Thorn: That’s correct.

Me: So, if I have a poor response from the protocol my doctor decides on, that doesn’t lead to any eggs to retrieve, we’re out?  Just like that?

Thorn: That’s correct.

Me: Even on the first cycle?

Thorn: Yes, that’s correct.

Me: And we can never reapply, it’s just over.

Thorn, gleeful: Correct.

Me, pausing.




Me: Well thank you, you are been so very helpful.

Thorn, cheerful: Ya’ll come back now, ya hear?

I hate my life.

So that was last Thursday.  Chris was able to get a hold of our IVF coordinator who says she will contact Attain to take out monitoring costs.  She also said that 5-day transfers are covered, and that she will have Attain change this in the contract as well.  Chris told me that the transfers must be clinic-specific because Thorn didn’t outright say Attain doesn’t cover 5-day tranfers.  She just asked what was in our contract.  But you know, it sure would have been helpful if Thorn would have told me that.  Also, what if I didn’t catch that? What if we signed the contract and it was only specifying 3-day transfers?

Is there anything else we’re missing because no one wants to explain them to us/ because my inexperience didn’t catch something?

Geez Louise.

So Chris just spoke with Rose at Attain and she will be issuing another contract with the 5-day and monitoring coverage included.

Though I am trying not to focus on it, we were going to have a cancelled cycle this last time around.  Our doctor wanted to convert our IVF to an IUI due to poor response.  We went ahead with it because of the insurance, but what if?

What if it happens again? I know we are doing a different protocol, but what if?  What if there are no eggs? Apparently, it isn’t like just saying “Oh well, on to the next cycle!” It’s just done.  There is always a catch, isn’t there?  I sit there, telling myself, Oh they are taking a gamble on us! They are betting they keep the money because they think I will get pregnant!

Unless, I don’t respond well.  And the cycle is cancelled.  Then it’s over.  Yes, we get our money back, but no further chances with Attain.  And then we are on our own.  I think, what if my first cycle a few months ago was with Attain? And because it was a trial and error protocol, and I didn’t respond well, it was going to be cancelled.  It would have been over, and there was no take-home baby.

Scary to think about.

One of the nurses at the clinic called me Thursday and dated me for my next IVF.  My period should start in about a week and I will be starting injections around the first week in October (happy birthday to me) and retrieval around October 22nd.  Pray there are more eggs this time around.

There are two more guest blogs I am posting.  I’m glad it was such a hit.  Thanks to you who sent me posts!

Coming soon: My first evah Giveaway!!

You might also like

Leave a Reply

21 Comment threads
0 Thread replies
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
1 Comment authors
recurrentlossandmovingforwardMelissa LongBeckie's InfertileEmChris Recent comment authors
newest oldest most voted
Notify of

Oh my goodness… I do NOT like Thorn! At all! What a jerk! I'm praying for lots more eggs this time around for you, my friend 🙂 XOXO


Dude. Someone needs sensitivity training. It should be a requirement for someone in Thorn's position. Grr! Keeping my fingers crossed for the cycle to go well this time around! <3


Ugh. Thorn. Just ugh. Hopefully, you won't have to deal with her again.

Fingers crossed the new protocol produces lots more eggs. After my first poor response, my RE said not to worry. Just because you are a poor responder one cycle doesn't mean you always will be. A tweak in the meds can make all the difference.


Oh.my.heavens. That sounds like an awful conversation with Thorn – talk about frustrating! Hope that the contract negotiations go more smoothly from here and that they get everything in there that they are supposed to.

Thinking of you and Chris and sending you best wishes for the next cycle to go well.


Wow. I will never understand people who seem to be rude and unhelpful just for the sake of being rude and unhelpful. Although as a poor responder with a cancelled cycle, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that it probably won't happen to you again. Unless they do the long Lupron protocol, which I doubt they will, since it's the worst for poor responders. Since my first cancelled cycle I've gone ahead every time on better drug protocols. Anyway, happy birthday to Chris!!


Thorn can suck it! Glad Rose got it straightened out. Hoping for lots and lots and lots of eggs for you. 🙂

Amanda Eisenberg

Looks like we'll be cycle buddies in October – depending on when AF decides to show up after my latest MC. I've been told no meds during September and then we'll start a new protocol in October. However hubby and I are making the move across the Potomac so in theory we'll have infertility insurance when October comes around 🙂
Happy Birthday to Chris from two more Virgos (mine is Saturday and other half is 16th)


How awful. Some people trust their doctors implicitly and that trust carries over to anything the staff says, and then what? When something like this happens, they're screwed because they just go along with it. I'm glad you had the mental resources and the time to get what you needed, and I hope things go well this cycle.


Yuck- what a downer she was! Maybe if you start talking to your ovaries now they'll cooperate nicely for ya!


Ugh- why does everything have to be so complicated? Jeez- I'll bet Attain is hoping people will miss the loopholes, or get so frustrated with them that they just say forget it. Sounds like typical BS to me!

I have allergies and a cold from hell as well… unpleasant, to put it mildly. Feel better soon…


Damn, the devil is in the details isn't it? A cancelled cycle and you're out -that's harsh!


Unbelievable! Thorn needs a new job! Good for you to dot your i's and cross your t's. Even though is it SO frustrating, stay on top of it and make sure you understand all of it. It is so important! Feel better!

Jennifer Juniper

I'm so with you on people who don't care about people's infertileness… Ugh. FX for you, Risa. You deserve the best outcome!!


Thorn sucks! I'm sorry you had to deal with her. I'm crossing everything I can for this for you, Risa!


Ugh. I really hated dealing with all those contracts. It's not like we are trained to understand what all the verbage means or to look for all those little things. And if you hadn't already been through one IVF cycle, you may not have know to ask those questions! Seems really dumb that they would cancel the contract after one cancelled cycle. Don't they WANT to keep your money? I mean, seriously, that is stupid. So here's a question, if they would cancel it just like that, would they be giving you a FULL refund at that point since you… Read more »


For those wondering, if for any reason we do not take a baby home we get a 100% refund. This includes if they cancel the cycle at any time, if we decide to cancel at any time, and of course if no baby is brought home after all the cycles have been done. From what it sounds like, this is not always the case for every clinic but our clinic has been working with Attain for a long time which is why we get 100% refund for all of these cases.


Wow, that is incredible. Our clinic works with Attain as well, but Attain is an individual program that the clinic uses. If we had been approved, Attain only refunded something like 80-90%. Can't remember exactly how much it was. That is awesome for the 100%, although I'm sure you both would rather it work 🙂


This post made me hungry (for Italian), angry (with infertility), annoyed (with Thorn), grateful (for the coordinator and the change to the contract), and excited (about late October/early November).

I'm in your corner. That's for sure.

Beckie's Infertile

Sorry about the gross phone call! It is so frustarting when people jut don't get it and they make things way more complicated than it needs to be. Infertility is enough without the side of rudeness.

Hopefully your cycle goes well in October. We are also heading back to Vegas in October as our last cycle was cancelled due to poor response. 🙁

Melissa Long

Ugh that guy was a total BUTT. Praying for you!


How frustrating to have to feel like you are catching all the little things that Attain isn't being so good about. I hope it's resolved quickly! And very exciting for an end of Oct cycle! GL /MMB