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Beta #2

Today is our 5 year anniversary. The second beta came back at 53.  I’m having a miscarriage.  There’s really not much else to say.

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Elizabeth :: Bébé SuisseJanetKandie WalkerEmOur Journey Through This Lovely Life Recent comment authors
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Amanda
Guest

Oh no! Risa, I'm so, so, so incredibly sorry. I've never experienced IVF, so I can only assume that there is so much more stress, and hope, etc balled up in this, but I did experience miscarraige, so I do now how awful this whole thing is. There is nothing like seeing the negative test after the positive, the blood, the pain, all of it… life changing. I'm so so sorry my friend. I had SO much hope! Sending you so much love and lots of hugs!

Erin
Guest

I am so, so sorry to hear this. I unfortunately know this pain as well. It just…sucks. That's all that can be said. Risa, I don't know you, but I wish I could hug you right now. My heart is broken for you.

Erin
Guest

Sorry, for some reason it wouldn't let me comment as my WordPress account. This is Nickee Coco (http://nickeecoco.wordpress.com) I've commented before.

Jenni Moore
Guest

Risa, We found out about our 2nd miscarriage on our 9th wedding anniversary. I know there is nothing anyone can say that will bring you comfort, but I want you to know how very sorry I am for you and Chris. I am here if you need to talk to or vent to or cry with someone who has been there.

Emily
Guest

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I will be thinking about you and your hubby. Hugs.

mommy someday
Guest

Ugh, I am so sorry! 🙁

Cristy
Guest

Oh Risa! Lady, my heart is breaking. I wish I could take this from you and Chris. To give you back the joy you had before. Holding you in my heart.

Aubrey
Guest

Nooooo!!! Oh my heart is broken for you, my friend. I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling. I can only pray that you will somehow make it through this and eventually find some peace. Know that we are all here for you, whenever you need us! xoxo

Kristin
Guest

I am so truly sorry for your loss. I know there are no words to heal the pain.

lamentingthelentil
Guest

Ohhh Risa. I'm so so sorry. There is no good day for a miscarriage, but your anniversary is an especially crappy one. Mine was on my birthday. How can the world pull that kind of thing? Thinking of you guys. xoxo

Not Pregnant And Pissed!
Guest

Your last post made me cry and now this also has me in tears. I am so so sorry. This is so fucking unfair. On your anniversary? Really? I don't know what else to say.

yetanotherbitterinfertile
Guest

I am so, so very sorry, Risa. Many hugs to you.

Megs
Guest

I'm so sorry. It's all so very unfair. There are no words.

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous

So sorry for your loss. I hope you find comfort in friends, family, and most importantly, God. Hugs to you!

-fellow babyloss mama to Taylor (4 weeks, 10/4/10) & Aidyn (39 weeks 4 days, 9/5/11)

Kasey Attianese
Guest

There are no words. Just praying for your comfort and for love to surround you while you heal!

Impatiently Waiting
Guest

I read this and almost threw up. My heart aches for you. I know that there are no amount of words that can make any of this better for you…. but, please know that I am here for you and that I love you!!!

Hugs to you and Chris.

I am so sorry.

rainbeforerainbow
Guest

Oh I hate this. I am so, so sorry. I know nothing makes it better. Just hold on tight to each other. Thinking of you.

Aramis
Guest

It's not often I read a blog post and curse out loud, but this was one of them. Risa, I'm so sorry for what's happening right now. I know nothing can make this better but we're all thinking about you guys. Sending lots of love.

jAllen
Guest

I fucking hate the Universe right now. So sorry for your loss, take care of each other

Erika
Guest

I am so, so sorry, Risa. 🙁

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous

Fuck. I am so, so sorry, was so happy when I saw your post yesterday. Please know we are all thinking of you.

Infertile625
Guest

Oh no. I am so sorry. I just went through this. My heart aches for you. I will pray for peace in your heart. I am do damn sorry.

AuntMimi
Guest

I'm so sorry. This is so painful. Praying for comfort.

Steph
Guest

I don't know what to say. My heart is breaking for you and this post actually brought me to tears. I'm so sorry.

Ann Foster
Guest

Oh my heart just hurts for you! I am so sorry!!! I wish there were words of comfort I could give you. I will be praying for you.

Ann Foster
Guest

Infertility is so hard the way it is, but to suffer and survive a miscarriage is just cruel. It's not like fertiles who suffer a mc and can just try again in a month or two. It's beyond a double whammy. This is my biggest fear going into our 4th FET.

Desperately Seeking Stretch Marks
Guest

I am so sorry. It's hard to be hopeful when life, too often, seems unfair. Thinking of you and your husband and hoping you find comfort in one another.

Stacie
Guest

I am so, so sorry. Many hugs to you.

Melanie
Guest

I'm so very very sorry.

Sarah at Midwest Pillowtalk
Guest

say it isnt so 🙁
so so sorry my dear.
xxo

JustHeather
Guest

Big hugs, Risa. I'm so sorry.

Amie
Guest

I'm so so sorry, my heart breaks for you and Chris. Big hugs to 🙁

Autumn Jones
Guest

Risa- I am so sorry to hear this! The devastation this stupid disease brings is horrendous! I had my fourth miscarriage with my first IVF- that was my moment of hitting the bottom. I lost all hope and was in a really dark place. I wouldn't wish this nightmare on anyone and I wish there was something I could say to make it better. There's one thing I constantly used in my head, you have to have rain in order to have rainbows. I'll be thinking of you!

Heather Richey
Guest

Nooo! I am so sorry, Risa. ((hugs))

*long time lurker, first time commenter*

Anne
Guest

Sending strength.

I don't know if it helps, but my friend who miscarried was told that the thing to remember is that she made the connection. GOT pregnant. And now that they knew she could get pregnant, they could focus on keeping her pregnant.

I'm sorry if that's not what you need right now. I wish I knew how to help.

JenS
Guest

I am so sorry. This is so completely unfair.

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous

De-lurking to say that I am so, so sorry. I am a fellow infertile that lost my first pregnancy just over a month ago at 6 weeks. It sucks and you're right, there's not much else to say. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story and let you know that I am thinking of you.

Annie
Guest

Also coming out of lurker hiding to give you a virtual hug. I just hate this. I'm so, so very sorry. I went though a similar early loss–let myself go to Carter's to buy something to surprise my hubby after getting a positive digital. Got a call about a low beta, despaired. Got a call about a good beta, rejoiced. Started bleeding, miscarried. Felt like my life was over. My heart is breaking for you 🙁

Stasy
Guest

Risa, I am so incredibly sorry. This is completely unfair and I know there are no words right now that can make it better. Be gentle with yourself over the coming weeks and months. Grieve as you need to, whether that be by crying or being angry or at times, being completely numb. Huge, huge HUGS!

justanotherinfertilityblog.com
Guest

I'm so very sorry… sending you hugs. We are all here for you and will be sending you comfort as you grieve.

Catwoman73
Guest

There are no words, Risa. It's beyond unfair… it's criminal that this should happen after all you've already been through. Wishing you a speedy recovery- physically, at least. The emotional part never entirely goes away. Heartbroken for you…

Stephanie
Guest

I am not a very emotional person, but I just feel like crying right now! I am so sorry about this! My heart aches for you! <3

Team Harries
Guest

so sorry to read this!! Thinking about you!

CAM
Guest

I have been there – twice unfortunately – after my 2nd and 3rd IVFs. It sucks. Beyond belief. I promise you that you'll get better though. You'll never forget, but you are a trooper and will pick yourself back up again and keep going, whatever path you choose.

Shelley
Guest

So sorry to hear this terrible news.

Our Journey Through This Lovely Life
Guest

I am so sorry 🙁 Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

Em
Guest

Oh Risa…this took my breath away. I could not possibly be more sorry about this. Praying for you right now.

Kandie Walker
Guest

I am so sorry. I am praying hard for you both! :'(

Janet
Guest

I am so so sorry Risa ((HUGS))

Elizabeth :: Bébé Suisse
Guest

Oh Risa, I'm so sorry. It's cruel, unfair, and devastating. I wish so much you didn't have to experience this pain. Sending you so much love.