I realize the title of this post sounds like I am sitting alone in my room, with a razor in one hand, a bottle of wine in the other, listening to The Used, but it’s not like that.
I really tried to put together a post that made it seem like I had something important to say. But I am in the 2WW and nothing is meaningful during that time. So I have nothing. Except for a list.
Top 10 things that made Risa cry this week
1) So I tripped and fell on the stairs leaving work Wednesday. Yes, someone saw me. Yes, it was a cute guy. Yes, he was my age. I walked out to my car, in silent fits of hysterical laughter, sat in the seat, shut the door and promptly burst into tears.
2) Got home from work that same day. Told Chris the story of me falling on the stairs. Started laughing hysterically at myself. Burst into tears again.
3) Chris showed me a list on the Internet with all these “inspiring photos.” Burst into gut-wrenching sobs which effectively put an end to that.
4) While text-messaging a friend. She told me her and her husband had some stuff stolen from them. Cried.
5) Looking at an employee scrapbook at work on Friday. Saw a page of an employee holding her little baby. Tears in my eyes.
6) Walking through the card aisle today looking at birthday cards for my mom. Had to stop after a few minutes because I had started crying.
7) Coming across a stupid fertile on Facebook, seeing her stupid pictures of her Kate Moss body in profile, clearing barely showing, but either wanting to show the world her “bump” or “here’s my bump, but I really want you to comment on how skinny I look!” I cried more from anger than sadness.
|When John Unger had suicidal thoughts after a breakup, it was his dog Shoep who brought him back from the brink. This photograph shows Unger cradling his friend in lake Superior to soothe the dog’s arthritis.|
9) When my own dog came and “hugged” me like that doggie did.
10) When I was driving home earlier this week, thinking about my beta. What if it was negative? What if it was positive?
I’ve had people tell me that these mood swings could mean I’m pregnant. It is the thing I keep focusing on, because though I am an emotional person, I have noticed this crying-at-the-drop-of-a-hat thing is out of character, even for me. Does this mean something? Or is this simply PMS f*cking with me?