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Why I hate being infertile

Yesterday I went to my 9:00 appointment.  I sat in the waiting room for a few minutes before the lab tech came out to call my name.  I walked up to her and she asked me if I had the doctor’s order with me.  I told her they should already have it on file since I couldn’t make the appointment without it.

Before I go any further, let me tell you what happened at the end of last week.

I called CRM Thursday on my lunch break and gave them the fax number to the women’s clinic by my house so that they could do the beta there and fax back the results to CRM.  Friday I called my clinic to make a lab appointment and they said they never got the order.  Apparently, I faxed it to the administrative area.  Why they couldn’t have taken it and brought it to the lab is beyond me.  So I got the new fax number that would go to lab, called CRM back and asked if they could call me to confirm they sent it.

So CRM called back and said it was all gravy and I called my own clinic and set the appointment (after waiting on hold while they “searched” for it).

Fast forward to yesterday:  The lab tech disappears in the back to go find it, I am sitting there annoyed because come on.  I scheduled the beta at my own clinic because I thought it would be less of a hassle.  Finally, she comes back and says she found it.

Afterward, I asked her when I could expect the results and she told me later that afternoon.  So I spent the day with my friend and waited and waited.  And waited.  I drove home at 3:45 and decided to call CRM to see if they’ve recieved the fax.  I mean, BW doesn’t take that long to do.  Well they didn’t receive anything.  So I called my clinic and spoke to triage.

I told the nurse I had a beta done that morning and was wondering if the results were faxed to CRM yet.  This is what she said to me:

“Well I see the results here and it’s less than 1.  Were you hoping it was negative?”

Excuse me, I just got done telling you I needed the results faxed to the Center for Reproductive Medicine, not the Teen Crack Whores of America.  Why the f%^& would I be hoping it was negative?

So I don’t know what I was expecting.  The CRM nurse calling me and kindly telling me that she was so sorry honey, but it’s negative.  Maybe some sympathetic women saying that it’s too bad, that she knows how much I want this.

I wasn’t expecting that.

So when I recovered from that callous blow, I asked her why the results weren’t sent yet, and that I needed to know if I was supposed to stop my progesterone.  She just told me that it would get sent out eventually.

So now I am wondering, how long were they even going to make me wait?  So I called back CRM and just told the nurse that it was negative and she told me she was sorry to hear that.  I am to stop the progesterone and to call when I get my period.  P4 delays menstruation so it may take up to a few days.

I knew it my heart it was negative.  Was I disappointed with the results?  Of course I was.  But I think I am even more upset with the way it was handled.  It makes me even rethink going to a closer clinic if this is the way it’s going to be.

So.  We did what any infertile couple does when they get a negative result.  I drank some coffee yesterday and this morning, and last night we got all liquored up.

On to the next cycle.

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Anonymous

How absolutely rude! I am so sorry Risa. How innapropriate. Sending you my love.
-Kristin

Kristin
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I am so sorry for your beta results. It is funny how so many other offices we visit are clueless to infertility. I remember I had to get an X-ray once and the tech asked me if I could be pregnant. I told her it was always a possibility but that I don't ovulate. She told me in a really snide remark "well you have to ovulate to get pregnant." Like I didn't know this already… then she continued to tell me how her daughter took a really long time to get pregnant, and when she was ready to call… Read more »

Jenni Moore
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I'm so sorry about your negative result. I know that, even when you know it's negative, actually having it confirmed still hurts like h*%#! With our last BFN, we went outside and shot the crap out of 2 old TV's. There's not much that helps relieve my tension, frustration and pain like emptying a clip! (Wow, that sounds so rednecky! LOL) I'm angry for you that you had to deal with an extremely rude and insensitive nurse! I have said on many occasions that my infertility journey has made me a more caring and compassionate nurse! Obviously, this person has… Read more »

Jen
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So sorry. I wish they had virtual infertility (cause I wouldn't wish actual infertility on anyone) training for all staff that deal with fertility patients. Maybe if they knew what it felt like they would behave differently.

Steph
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I am so sorry that things were handled so poorly. It is such a horrible situation to be in, and it just makes it harder when people have no tact or sympathy at all. I hope that the next cycle brings you better luck.

Autumn Jones
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I'm sorry. Some people can be so stupid. Before I started going to the RE, I was doing a fertility work-up at the gynocologist. Low and behold a few months into it, I got pregnant; this quickly faded into a miscarriage which was confirmed by them. The Nurse practioner says, "So do we need to talk about birth control?" after that. It made me despise the women.

JustHeather
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I'm so sorry, Risa. Clueless people just suck sometimes. I'm also sorry for the BFN. *hugs*

Jenny
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I hate, hate, hate, hate hearing stories like this. It just reaffirms my belief that there needs to be special sensitivity training for medical professionals when it comes to infertility.

I'm so sorry that the result was negative and that you found in such an awful manner. 🙁

Risa
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Thanks ladies. I know I probably should say something to the supervisor. It just kind of shocked me.

Anonymous
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Anonymous

Risa,
I am so sorry! Thoughts and hugs are with you always!
Wow, that nurse was very insensitive!
Jess Severson (the one married to Steve)

Jamie
Guest

I'm so sorry. What a kick in the teeth. How dare that woman! Fingers crossed for next cycle!