I’ve been feeling a little snarky lately

Parents who dropped their children off at Sandy Hook Elementary School thought they were leaving them in a safe place.  This past Friday I saw the news about what had happened.  And here’s the thing.  I didn’t cry.  I still haven’t.  I know I cried when Virginia Tech happened.  I was pretty young when Columbine occurred, but I know I was scared.  I think the reason I haven’t cried about this tragedy is that my brain is refusing to believe it’s true.   All over Facebook were young mothers posting about their shock and their fear for their own children.  I don’t have to have children to put myself in the shoes of those parents in Connecticut.  To have your babies taken from you so violently is beyond comprehension.  I believe those children are being held by Jesus right now, but it is the parents, the teachers, EMS, law enforcement and those directly affected by Friday’s events that I my heart hurts for.

And then I thought of all the children who die everyday from starvation, child abuse, illness.  What the hell am I doing bringing a child into this world?  A world where killing fellow classmates isn’t bad enough.  This act was so heinous that my own mind has to block it out because the reality of it is too much for me to bear.  I know this is so not even about me, but really, what am I doing?  What if that was me one day, what if I get a phone call like that?  Losing a child is something no parent should ever have to experience, but having a child taken from you from pure evil is… there are just no words.

But if we give into that fear, if we decide to home-school our kids because we are frightened to send them to school, if we never let them play outside for fear of them being kid-napped, what kind of life is that?  We let the fear win and we spend our whole lives running from something that may never even happen.  If I decide to call it quits, because I am fearful of the evil that could snatch my baby from me, would that make the evil go away?

I have been feeling pretty dismal of our world as we know it.  I am all-too aware of the bad things people are capable of.  But I can also see the good, too.  I see children borne to couples who didn’t give up.  I have seen neighbors shovel their neighbor’s driveway.  I have seen animals horribly abused that learn to trust the kindness of humans again.  In the midst of all this tragedy, the thought it is to hold your children tighter.  I say, do that every day.  But don’t let evil win.  And never stop seeking out the good that still exists in this world.  It’s there. 

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